Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Should I really shave my balls?
If I don't, she'll surely bitch.
Does she care how much I'll itch?

Take the razor and lather up,
Gawd that bitch is so corrupt!
Doesn't she care that I could slip?
Shave my balls and cut off my dick?

Easy now, hands don't shake,
She'll call me "Stumpy" with one mistake.
Pubes in her teeth she really can't bear,
If I want some head... get ridda the hair.

So I shave my balls all nice and slick,
Did it up nice without one nick!
"Feel 'em baby, they're so smooth!"
"Take off your clothes, get in the groove!"

She looks at me from our little bed,
"I'm sleepy, Baby... ain't giving no head!"
She rolls on over and gives me her back,
I'm so pissed off, I'm about to crack!

Next day, it's breakfast in the sheets,
I spoon her bites which she gladly eats.
And I must confess I think it's fair,
That her omelet was made with pubic hair.