OFFENSIVE JOKES
 

 

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A: A canoe tips

Q: What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on?
A: He broke his nose.

Q: Have you heard about the new car designed by the Jews?
A: It stops on a dime and then picks it up

Q: What did the Jewish pedophile say to the little boy once he was in the car?
A: "Hey, go easy on the candy!"

Q: Why did the Jew give half the proceeds of his lottery win to the nazi party?
A: Because they tattooed the winning numbers on his forearm.

Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
A: Because air is free.

Q: Why is it that Jews like to watch pornos in reverse?
A: They like the part when the hooker gives the money back

Q: Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they're not going to work in the future, either.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico enter the Olympics?
A: Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Q: What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas?
A: My bike.

Q: Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher doesn't work?
A: Slap her.

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: The question really is "What the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

Q: How do you give a woman a really great orgasm?
A:Who cares?

Q: What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
A: Einstein's cock.

Q: Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
A: She was a woman

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other

Q: Why is a necrophiliac like a fur trapper?
A: They're both looking for dead beaver.

Q: What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair!

Q: What's grosser than eating your grandmother's pussy?
A: Banging your head on the coffin lid after you're done.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What’s the hardest thing about cooking vegetables in a microwave?
A: Getting the wheelchair through the door

Q: What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A: It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Q: What's the difference between acne and priests?
A: Acne comes on a boy's face AFTER he turns 13.

Q: How many gay men does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A: Quarter pounder with cheese.

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A:"I feel like a kid again."

Q: What did one pedophile say to the other?
A: "I'll give you two fives for a ten."