THE PENIS TAX
 

 

The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that:

40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed.

20% of the time it's pissed off.

30% of the time it's hard up.

10% of the time it is in the hole.

On top of all this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 1999, penises will be taxed according to size. To determine the category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form.

10 to 12 Inches = Luxury Tax $50.00

8 to 10 inches = Pole Tax $30.00

6 to 8 inches = Privilege Tax $15.00

4 to 6 inches = Nuisance Tax $5.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION.

* Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains.

Sincerely,

Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Service

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BREAST TAX

Since the IRS has decided to tax men's penises, it has come to believe that women shouldn't be left out. So they have decided that a Breast Tax is in order.

Please refer to the chart below for your tax computation:

AA cup Flat rate $ 5.00
A cup Slight rise $10.00
B cup Normal rate $15.00
C cup Over abundant rate $20.00
D cup* "Are they real?" rate $40.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under AA cup is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN ENLARGEMENT!!!

* Females exceeding D cup should consult their tax advisor for the KNOCK YOUR EYES OUT Capital Gains tax.