DAD EXPLAINS SEX
 

 

A father was explaining the facts of life to his son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of love-making:

Father: "One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the act, even if you are doing the same thing."

Son: "What do you mean, Dad?"

Father: "Well, for example, their words will vary according to their occupation. For example, a prostitute will tend to say, 'Are you done yet?' On the other hand, a nymphomaniac will ask, 'Are you done already?'"

Son: "What do other women say?"

Father: "Well, a school teacher will say, 'We are going to do this over and over again until you get it right!' A nurse will say, 'This won't hurt one bit.'"

Son: "I thought they said, 'Pull down your pants and bend over.'"

Father: "That's male nurses. Moving on, a bank teller will say, 'Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.' A stewardess will say, 'Place this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.'"

Son: "And what does mother say?"

Father: "She says, 'Ohhhh tonight Harrrrryy?? I just spent $35 to have my hair done. Can't you wait till tomorrow?'"